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I just want to crawl under a rock and never emerge.***That night, I don't sleep at all. I just lie there, all night, thinking. I don't cut myself; something tells me it's got a bit beyond that now.***In the morning I pack my bag in a daze, not really concentrating on what I'm doing. Everything suddenly seems so simple; for the first time in my entire life, I am totally calm. For the first time in months, I don't secrete a razor inside my coat. It'd just be pointless.If the events of the past few days - fuck it! The events of my entire fucking life - have taught me anything, it's that there's no point standing up to Them. They're always bigger than you, always stronger than you, and certainly always more numerous. Entropy.Today, however, I feel curiously strong. What a strange experience.***Odd: I never noticed there were pigeons in the trees outside. I was always too busy staring at my books.Miss Knowles barks at me to pay attention; I ignore her. I'm far too busy watching. Did you punch her or something?" Becky looked up at Kelly with an indignant expression. "No! I would never do that. I went home straight away and went to bed early.... and then did what I always do." "What was that?" Kelly asked, her heart pounding. "I umm... touched my self, down there," answered Becky, not able to look Kelly in the eye. "And what was the bad bit?" Kelly asked knowing exactly what she meant. "I touched myself DOWN THERE, until I, you know, had a climax." "I still don't know what you did that was wrong," Kelly said soothingly, feeling herself getting wet. "I played with myself while I was thinking about that kiss, even though she was so horrible to me. I couldn't control myself. Not only that, I do it all the time! I told you I'm sick!" Becky started sobbing. "Becky, what you have described to me is perfectly normal behavior. You may have an unusually strong libido, I don't know, but your actions are NOT sick." "You don't understand," Becky responded with.
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